The Crack Team will be a household name within a few years. Soon every city in North America will have The Crack Team driving through their neighborhood offering permanent solutions to leaking basement cracks. Of course, some states don't have basements (so-called 'freak states'), but that's not important.

What is important is that we've received offers from companies wanting to jump on The Crack Team bandwagon. Last month FASCAR wanted The Crack Team to sponsor one of their pace cars, but we denied their request when they refused to rename the vehicle 'The Crack Mobile'. And this week we thought about lending our name to a local chocolate company for their new crispy candy bar. It sounded like a good idea until they turned down our tagline, 'Have you had your crack today?'

So to all of you companies who want to share our spotlight, we say, 'thanks, but no thanks.' The Crack Team and Mr. Happy Crack will never do anything to cheapen their corporate identities by branding items just to generate a cheap laugh.

That being said, visit our apparel section and check out our new Mr. Happy Crack thongs, boxer shorts, and coolies, along with our other high-brow goodies.