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Mr. Happy Crack Apparel

Mr. Happy Crack Apparel

THE EMBARRASSMENT OF SHRINKAGE


With the swimming season upon us, it's time for men to face one of their biggest fears: SHRINKAGE. It's no surprise how water effects certain things, and all men know the shame and confusion of highly visible shrinkage problems. But fear not: The Crack Team 's exclusively formulated Crackmatch and Teamcoat products will fix shrinkage cracks in concrete decks, patios, and other outdoor areas that should be shown off during the spring and summer months. And remember, if you have numerous cracks the savings become bigger, so keep this, um, "package deal" in mind.
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DID HE INJECT OR DIDN'T HE?

Mr. Happy Crack throwing out first pitch
Yes!! Mr. Happy Crack proudly admits to injecting.......cracks that is! Mr. Happy Crack also admits to filling, sealing, and coating any type of concrete crack in walls, floors, decks, patios and driveways. And while many duck and dodge this question, Mr. Happy Crack (seen here throwing out a first pitch at a MLB game) has issued the following statement through his longtime agent/bodyguard Sidney Crackstein: "I have been injecting since 1985 and my cracks have never been happier".


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Crack History Month

Crack History MonthAs most adults and school children know, February is Crack History Month. Leading into the spring rainy season, February is the ideal time for homeowners to fix foundation cracks while simultaneously acknowledging the contributions of those individuals who have made a difference in the foundation repair industry. The deep and culturally relevant history of crack repair can be found at the Center for Repair and Concrete Knowledge (CRACK), a world-renowned consortium of foundation repair specialists from all over the globe. It should come as no surprise that this prestigious institute selected Mr. Happy Crack as the most influential person in crack repair, and we are honored and humbled to share this news with readers of thecrackteam.com.
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Hey, Baby! Show Us Your...Umbilical Cord!


We've all seen those late-night commercials for videos featuring girls going wild (although the name of the series escapes us at this time), but how many people know there are videos featuring babies going wild? The Crack Team secretly received some images from the series, and while we admit the images are a tad disturbing, we're quite impressed with the fact that all the babies are wearing onesies from our hot-selling Baby Crack Collection. Click here for the ultimate in baby-gear, and remember that our strategically-placed slogan on the back of the onesie serves as a constant reminder for one of the many parental doodies...we mean duties.

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It's Raining Men...Who Repair Cracks

Gene Kelly sang in it. Milli Vanilli blamed it. Burt Bachrach liked it on his head. But for most homeowners rain isn't always a good thing, especially if it's leaking through your foundation. Sure, Gene and Milli (or is it Vanilli?) and Burt probably don't have to worry about cracked basement walls, but for us regular shmoes it can be a huge problem. So if you like it purple call Prince. If you made it through it call Barry Manilow. But if you want it out of your basement permanently, call 1-866-CRACK TEAM.
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Fics Your Cr@cks 2Nite!

NigeriaWho doesn't do business online these days? Let's face it, whether you want to Meet Hot Singles Tonight or you're a Nigerian banker representing the multimillion dollar estate of a late client, the internet is the perfect place for you. So as long as you're being productive online, why not check out thecrackteam.com?

You can request a free estimate through our easy-to-navigate site or view 'Facts About Cracks', a feature which answers common questions regarding cracked and leaking basements. Thecrackteam.com also offers officially-licensed Mr. Happy Crack apparel and gifts, so there's something for everyone to enjoy.

While we don't refinance mortgages, we can save you money on crack repair. And even though we don't sell pills to put some spring in your ding-a-ling, we think you'll find our site, um...uplifiting.
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© 2005 The Crack Team